nothingness

well my krish thought my previous blog was BORING.......(just like me -- but he being kind n considerate didn't say 'like you' -- just said its too boring) he thinks i am better at writing textbook answers. At least none of my profs have said that my writing is boring............

the actual funny part is that the one person i listen to seriously is krish - BF. it doesn't necessarily mean that i do things the way he wants them to be done but its a huge accomplishment, just listening to someone else. and i am getting better at it. also him having a nice soothing melodious voice helps a lot -- my ears r not strained (i hate high pitched whines) . and i do actually listen!!!

i might have dyslexia (after watching TZP) or an attention deficit disorder. i just go blank and zone out when people are speaking. for example today in middle of computational dynamics i started thinking abt me and M working in same lab and then me having to kill rats --- rats!!!!!
but the thing is i think a lot abt M -- dont take me wrong.
she dropped a subject coz she was stressed and she fainted. now i am taking twice the number of subjects but me i m never stressed. and occasionally if i scream (which happens only 3 -4 times in a day depending on how many irritating conversations i have) then i m letting off steam. and if i m studying twice as hard then its my indian blood which cant be satisfied with anything less than an A grade. and the indian stamina keeps me from fainting also .i dream of fainting so that i can take a day off -- but fainting happens only in dreams not in my reality. and its my indian sycophancy which make me sweet and amiable towards my profs.
i have to thank India for many things including for krish who thinks i write crap.
well i m just letting off steam!